Good relationships really are worth the wait. There is nothing wrong with keeping yourself open for the right person to come along. People have a hard time being single. It is so tempting to give the wrong people a chance, because it is tiring looking for the best match. So right from the beginning, even though the red flags are present early on, many people take the plunge and give a ‘bad’ situation a chance. Then they spend an endless amount of time trying to make a bad relationship a good one.
The red flags were there as a warning that no good relationship would come from it, but they were ignored. Red flags are there for a reason. They are to help you to avoid bad relationships and experiences. If someone is lonely, or afraid they will grow old alone, they may stick out a bad relationship because they don’t want to start over. They feel what they have is better than nothing, and who is to say they would find better than what they have right now?
These people should wait for an opportunity for good relationships rather than taking chances with such bad odds. It may make sense to some people to get involved with someone rather than wait around. The problem with that theory is that if you are with the wrong person, in a bad relationship, you will miss opportunities for good relationships.
People also learn bad relationship skills from bad relationships. They weren’t necessarily born with them, instead they learned from their bad experiences. They now take these bad relationship habits and skill and bring them into their new ones. Any wonder why they have the same problems in their relationships, one after the other? You could have been in a bad relationship with the wrong person. Just because you leave and start another one doesn’t mean you left that bad relationship behind. You will bring insecurities, ways of fighting, any list of bad habits along to infest your new relationship.
This is one of the main reasons good relationships are worth the wait. If your dating experience with someone has been horrible and totally stressful, why on earth would you enter into a relationship with them? That is going to be horrible and totally stressful too! A change in your status won’t make things better. Your dynamics are already there, and just changing your title won’t change a thing. It takes real effort and so much time to try to change dynamics once they are established. And even with all that effort and time nothing may wind up changing at all.
There is no way to avoid a bad relationship. Even the most cautious person can find themselves in the midst of a crummy relationship. That’s ok, as long as you get the hell out of there and spend an eternity trying to make it work. There has to come a time when you acknowledge it doesn’t work between you because it is not supposed to work. You aren’t truly compatible in important ways, don’t see eye to eye, and don’t want the same things. Don’t wait for things to get even worse. Cut yourself lose and seek something better, because good relationships are worth the wait, and the effort.