Reading Between the Lines: Are You Doing it Right?

Reading between the lines takes skill and many times we can end up doing it incorrectly. Sometimes  reading between the lines is necessary, but sometimes people go overboard trying to read between the lines in their relationships.


Sometimes a statement is simply a statement, with no hidden meaning or agenda. Of course there are many people who drop hints, or use their words as a way to leave clues, without getting straight to the point. This is a horrible way of communication, but many people do it. In some cases, people drop hints or leave clues accidentally, and when reading between the lines, you may discover something they are trying to hide from you. You must learn, however, to refrain from reading between the lines when their simply isn’t anything there.

Reading Between the Lines

Reading Between the Lines

When you read too much into things, words or actions in a relationship, it can cause problems. Not everything the person you are in a relationship with does or says has hidden meaning. There are countless arguments that can arise when a person is simply communicating yet winds up being accused to saying something entirely different than they meant.


Being honest and not being afraid to say what you feel and think when communicating is better for a relationship than keeping your thoughts and feelings a secret. Getting right to the point is also a better way of communicating in relationship because you are not playing games. Why not simply say “I am upset by what you did (or didn’t do) and I need you to hear my feelings about it.” This is a lot better than beating around the bush.


Why pout or act upset and wait for them to ask you what your problem is? Why say “nothing, I am fine.” when clearly you are not? Why say “we need to talk” and then don’t say exactly what you need to talk about? Saying “we need to talk about our relationship” is exceptionally vague as well. You should be talking about a specific thing, so get to it. Instead of all of the melodrama which gets the other person in the relationship emotional or defensive, try to keep it a discussion instead of an instant fight.


Try not to constantly accuse the person you are in a relationship with for not saying what they really mean. Constantly questioning someone when they insist they simply just meant what they originally said can get really annoying for them. If they are a game player and you know they are playing word games, accusing them won’t do anything good. It is better to take their words at face value, and not play their game, so they eventually have to come right out with what they really want to say. You don’t need to play detective and figure out what they are saying or thinking, let them have the responsibility of telling you.


The same holds true with how they feel, if you are getting signals from them they may be out of sorts. You can ask them if something is wrong once. If they tell you nothing, but you know something is up, then just leave it. You did your part, you asked, and they dropped the ball. Let them pick it up instead of continually bringing it up. If you play the game with them, they will keep playing the games.


Don’t play them yourself either. No one likes it, no one appreciates it.


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