Do you allow bad behavior in your relationship? Have you felt you must tolerate bad behavior in your relationship out of fear? Have you been afraid to call someone out on their bad behavior because they might break up with you? Would you rather just suck it up than speak up because you don’t like confrontation? Well, by allowing this bad behavior, you are helping to destroy your relationship. It may sound strange but it is true. When you allow bad behavior in your relationships it becomes a part of the relationship. People believe you accepted it, so they feel there will be no consequence to repeating it. And repeat it they will. At the same time, they lose all respect for you, and then will fall out of love with you. So if you are afraid if you try to put a stop to bad behavior you will lose someone you care about, you might want to rethink that. By stopping bad behavior you have the opportunity to change the relationship for the better.
Sure, it might cause fights or problems at first, but if you allow it to continue it will cause problems anyway. So you really have nothing to lose, and much more to gain. When you stop allowing bad behavior to continue you reclaim your self-esteem. You can also earn respect and gain self-respect. By insisting that people treat you better, you will get better treatment. If you allow bad behavior you will get worse treatment as time goes by. Don’t leave it up to someone else to gain a conscience or feel guilty for their bad behavior. Let them know their bad behavior was wrong and that you won’t put up with it. If you have to stay away from them for a while, so be it. It is better than being around them while they treat you badly. It also shows them you mean business. It shows them they took their bad behavior one step too far and you are prepared to stand up to them. They might not like it at first but they will respect it, and respect you for it.
You may think that when you love someone you have to tolerate bad behavior. That is true to a certain point. We are all human, make mistakes, get moody sometimes and/or act out. When we love someone we can let certain things slide here and there. But that does not mean you have to put up with their bad behavior constantly. You may think by being the bigger person or keeping the peace you are keeping the relationship intact. In actuality, you are doing just the opposite. You are doing your part to keep the damage coming and pulling the two of you further apart.
Don’t accept every excuse you get for bad behavior. Don’t make up excuses to excuse their bad behavior. Sure, they may be having a rough time at work. Things in their life may be very stressful because of family issues or health issues. So what? That is an excuse for them to lean on you, ask for support or vent to you.
It is not an excuse they can use, or you should use, to permit bad behavior. We can all get a little snippy or cranky when we are stressed. No big deal. But every week? Several weeks a month? Several months a year? Hell no. Bad behavior in small doses is one thing, constant bad behavior as a way of life is another.
If you want the bad behavior to stop, the first step is to stop allowing it.