After a break up, do wonder how to get your ex back? When a relationship is over, your feelings may still be there and you miss your ex and the good times you had together more than life itself. You go over every detail of your past relationship and do the “woulda, shoulda, coulda” dance and wish things never ended. You try to put them out of your mind but cannot stop thinking about your ex, and all you want in the world is to get them back. You wonder how to get your ex back, and then come up with ideas to make it happen. You may feel it is hopeless, and that you have no control over the situation and it is breaking your heart. You pray, make promises or deals with God, and would do anything to get to have one more chance with your ex.
But what if some of the things you are doing are going to have the opposite effect? What if the things you are doing are driving them further away or making them glad they ended things with you in the first place? Sometimes it is not just what you can do, but what you should not do. You have to be very careful when making a plan to try to get your ex back because you don’t want to create more damage to the situation.
First, take a look at why you broke up. Was it you who ended the relationship? Did you have a good logical reason for doing so but now your emotions have taken over and you are having second thoughts? If so, you need to stop feeling, and go back to thinking logically. Don’t glamorize a relationship that made you miserable when you were in it. Don’t focus on the good times, but the bad ones. Then ask yourself if you really want this person back and why. Ask yourself if you would really be happy if you got your ex back if things didn’t change and it was the same relationship you had before.
Second, if you do want to your ex back, what are you going to do differently? Common sense would tell you if you do everything the same you will break up again. Duh. Same with them. They have to make changes too. Ask yourself if you believe you can change, and then ask yourself if you think your ex can really change.
Third, don’t do anything melodramatic. Don’t call, text, or email 800 times. Don’t get impatient when they don’t answer you right away either. You are no longer their girlfriend/wife (or boyfriend or husband) so you don’t get the rights and expectations that come with that relationship. Doing so will just make them feel justified in why they ended the relationship.
Fourth, DO NOT drop by unannounced, don’t do drive-bys and don’t “happen” to be where you know he/she will be. Don’t force a meeting. Don’t force a conversation either because it is sure to backfire. These are definitely things you should NOT do if you really want to get your ex back.