When someone betrays you and hurts you deeply it is easy to hold a grudge. When it comes as a shock or surprise because you never expected that person do ever do something like this to you, it is even easier. If the person that did this terrible thing to you shows a lack of remorse, it is even easier to hold a grudge. What are the effects of holding a grudge? Sometimes you feel you must hold this grudge as an effort to punish them, when you only wind up punishing yourself in many cases.
When it comes to relationships, if one or both partners are holding grudges, there is no room for love to grow. Ignoring problems or past hurts never allows things to get better, only to get worse. Holding a grudge is like holding on to garbage and not throwing it out. You can hide it in your basement and you may think, for a while, that it is not affecting your home very badly. Several years down the road, what happens? Your entire house smells bad and there are bugs everywhere. Same thing happens when you hold a grudge in a relationship. At first, you may not be aware of the damage that is created because you chose to hold a grudge. Down the line though, your whole relationship will be affected, just like that house.
So how can you keep from holding a grudge or let go of one. First, if you really want this relationship to have a chance, accept that you simply must. If you decide you cannot let go of the grudge then end the relationship now and stop wasting your time in it. Holding a grudge is a choice. And if you choose to hold that grudge please be prepared to accept the consequences and the responsibility too for what happened. Sure, they did or said whatever they did that hurt you so bad, but you could have ended the relationship. Why would you continue to be with someone you cannot ever forgive anyway? Can’t you see how doomed the relationship is?
Now what if someone has chosen to hold a grudge against you in your relationship and won’t let go of it? Well, this one is not up to you. It is up to them. If you have tried everything to be forgiven and show remorse, it may be time for you to give them an ultimatum. Either let this go and let’s move past this, or hold the grudge all by yourself. If you have not shown remorse yet then what are you waiting for? Get to it!!
If you are having a problem with grudges affecting your relationships and future happiness, allow Sophia Elise and Sarah Adelle to help you loosen the grip this grudge has on you and your partner.