Regret over past decisions, including breaking up or ending a relationship is something many of us have gone through. Quite often after a break up we tend to have regrets and wonder if we did the right thing. There was a reason, of course, why you ended the relationship and caused the break up in the first place. You should only feel regret if your reason for ending the relationship was not good enough, meaning it was not a deal breaker. If the issue that arose was something that could have been dealt with in another way and the break up avoided, your regret may be valid. We may regret ending a relationship, and want to reconcile, but the damage done by the break up may have our ex seeing things differently. You may be the only one that regrets the decision to break up, while your ex thinks it is for the best. So what do you do now? Beg, plead, cry, and do anything and everything to get your ex back? Will it work? Will you get another chance or did you just throw away the best thing that ever happened to you and something you will regret for the rest of your life.
First, before you panic, it is reality check time. Go back to how you thought and what you felt (and why) when the break up occurred. You may think you broke up with your ex for something that was no big deal. Is that really true? Or was it a culmination of hundred of little things that just kept building and building til you finally exploded? If that is the case, look at all those things individually. Write them down. These are all the things that made you unhappy in that relationship and drove you crazy. Don’t focus on the things you miss or love about your ex, allow yourself to see the things you WON’T miss about them. Sure you still want the ex back now? Are you being honest with yourself? Are you being realistic in the knowledge that the same problems, behaviors, and issues are going to continue until they are handled? Do you realize you will keep breaking up if this time apart hasn’t given you both the knowledge that changes need to be made? Are you both ready to execute those changes and make them stick? If you are not, then you will regret getting back together at some point, because you will just break up again. It is only a matter of time.
If your relationship was such a dysfunctional disaster then you may want to look closer at your regret. Why are you chasing a pipe dream instead of letting it go? Are you allowing fear and insecurity to guide you back down the wrong path again? Are you coming from a place of negativity and think a dysfunctional relationship is the best you can hope for? Would you rather be in the wrong relationship than in no relationship at all? If you are coming from a mindset like that it will be hard for you to make a sensible relationship decision about your future. As a matter of fact, you will probably look back on your decision to reunite as a regret. It is hard for us to go from a part of a couple to on our own. But if it really is in our best interest to do so, then we must face those tough decisions proudly, instead of with regret.