Will your ex remain an ex or will you get back together again? So many clients call us wondering if the status with their ex is a permanent one. For all the worrying, over analyzing and tears, one must remember that it is not certain that your ex will even remain your ex. The first thing you should take a look at is the relationship prior to the break up. Is there a pattern of breaking up all the time? Do you have an on/off relationship?
If you do, then you really need to stop telling yourself this time will be different and they won’t want to reconcile. Rather than think that, simply tell yourself the past will repeat itself and your ex won’t remain an ex forever. You can either worry your ex will remain your ex, or you can give yourself some hope. Worrying and thinking worst case scenario won’t guarantee they will come back, so what use is it to you?
There is nothing wrong with trying to stay positive. It can actually keep you from doing something stupid. When you let your mind wander to thoughts of your ex remaining an ex, you can work yourself into a tizzy. When that happens you could do something that could hurt your chances of getting your ex back. Best to stay on the side of caution.
Exes get back together all the time. The answer lies within the couple themselves. If there are still strong feelings of love on both sides, then chances are pretty good. Your ex might be angry with you right now, and that anger is all you see and hear. They may still love you, but they are not in a place right now to show it. They have to get over their anger first, so it would be very stupid to anger them further. If they are angry and want space, give it to them. If they are angry and don’t want to talk to you, then don’t try to communicate with them right now.
Give them the time they need, regardless of your patience level, because it could make things much more worse. Your ex may remain an ex if the anger keeps escalating, so it is best to let them calm down completely. When you try to talk to an angry person, all they are most likely to do is fight with you. So give the anger time to evaporate, so the love can be shown and felt again. Always remember, just because someone is angry with you does not mean they don’t love you anymore.
In some cases, with some couples, the time has come for an ex to remain an ex. If the relationship is too toxic and volatile the couple needs to let go, at least for a while. If down the line, they decide to reconcile with professional help, they may just make it. Without it, they are most likely to repeat the same behaviors only to wind up exes again. If you really want to make it work, seek professional help. You wouldn’t pull your own teeth would you? You wouldn’t fix your own roof or do surgery on yourself would you? No, you would leave it to the professionals. So seek their help if your relationship was out of control and you are thinking of getting back with your ex.
The bottom line is each couple has a different path. Some will get back together. Some will remain exes. But if you focus on yourself, and help yourself, you will be ok regardless of what the future holds.